Ruined for Life

Well, I am almost done with the second week at my job, and I'm feeling...still pretty overwhelmed. Not only do I feel extreeemely under-qualified for my position, but I have also fallen prey to the "what will I do with my life?" question. But, really, what will I do?? I'm currently struggling with pushing those thoughts aside and remembering that everything will work out in the end, and I need to enjoy the here and now. My decision to do JVC will carry me through this year, and I need to not let my brain get carried away with stressful thoughts that don't immediately affect me. 

So...JVC...a lot of people don't actually know what it is that I'm doing here. Basically, I heard about JVC through the UCC (University Catholic Center) during my sophomore year at UCLA. There was a panel of current and former JV's (Jesuit Volunteers) who came and talked to us about their experiences, and the plans started forming. Fast forward a couple of years, lots of thinking and praying, tears and stress and joy, and here I am in New York!!! 

JVC is centered on four main values: community, spirituality, social justice, and simple living.

Community. I am living in a community of 8 women. EIGHT. And it's going to be hard at times. I just feel so lucky to be surrounded by people who are going through the same things I will be going through this year; otherwise, I don't know what I'd do! It gives me someone to come home to, someone to talk to when I'm bored, excited, sad...friends to share a meal with, to do errands with, everything! And while it may get to be a lot to handle sometimes, knowing I have seven amazing women who are here to help me through the thick and thin is an incredible feeling. Everyone in my community has a different job, and coming home to hear about everyone's day is so interesting because we're all doing different things! It baffles me that we've only known each other for a couple of weeks because we're already pretty close, and this year and it's trials will only bring us closer!

Spirituality: Every week of this year, we have one Community Night and one Spirituality Night. This means we will set aside two nights of every week to come together and bond in different ways. In JVC, Spirituality doesn't mean we pray all the time and are all Catholic. Actually, only a couple of the girls in my house are practicing Catholics. JVC is based on Ignatian Spirituality in that we are asked to seek to experience God in all things. I think this will be a personal challenge for me because I find it so easy to go through each day without thinking about the role God has played. I'm trying to fix that, and I think JVC will help.

Social Justice: Every job offered through JVC is focused on a social justice issue. Education, immigration, HIV/AIDS, housing, homelessness, etc. By putting us in these roles, we are forced to think about the inequities that surround us, and our jobs challenge us to find ways to fix them.

Simple Living: I'm currently living on $100 a month. In New York City, that's pretty difficult! This seems to be the value that most people have trouble understanding when I tell them what I'm doing here. It's even been met with anger! People who just don't get why I would choose to do this or why JVC would put us through this. I see it as a way to truly focus on what's important. My house is paid for, my food (for the most part) is paid for, my monthly metro pass is paid for, and I get a little spending cash on the side. No, I won't be eating out at all the delicious places this city has to offer. No, I won't be buying all the beautiful clothes in the shops I walk by every day. No, I won't simply take a taxi to get somewhere faster. But, I will enjoy cooking meals with my housemates, I'll smile at the smell of roasted nuts before I enter the subway, I'll figure out how to make my LA clothes keep me warm in the east coast winter, and I'll soak in the culture around me even when I'm underground. I'm working for people who have even less than I do, and my vow to live in solidarity with them will ruin me for life, but, that's what I asked for.

Ruined for life. That's what they say. JVC ruins you for life. I'm already starting to see it happen. I'll feel bad for not composting my orange peel. I'm more aware of the way businesses treat their employees and how they spend their profits. I try to educate myself on the issues affecting the people I'm serving. I'm not a perfect consumer: I still love Disney, and I can't afford only organic, local products at the moment. But just being more aware is changing me. For life? Definitely. Ruined? Maybe in some peoples' opinions.

Right now, I'm just trying to enjoy the ride.