Never in my life have I heard so many wolf whistles, kissy noises, and cat calls directed at me before moving to New York, and I don't think it's because I've suddenly become irresistible to the male species. I don't really know what it is. Should I feel complimented? I don't. I feel angered. What makes it okay for someone to do that? It makes me feel uncomfortable. But, is that my fault? Should I just let it be and not feel anything? I personally find it hard to ignore. I leave the house feeling pretty and dolled up, but I turn the corner on my walk to the subway and instantly feel eyes on me and hear that day's choice of call. The thing is -- this normally only happens when I've actually made an effort with my appearance. When I'm in heels or I've done my make up. If I leave the house in jeans and flats, I am usually ignored. But does that mean that should be all I wear every day? I feel like I should be allowed to dress up without fearing the response I'll hear when I pass the 24 hour car wash by my house. (Yes, a 24 hour car wash. Just in case your car is impossibly dirty at 2am.)
This new life is just so different from anything I've ever experienced. I didn't have to deal with unwanted attention from strange men in my little hometown, or even while I was at UCLA.
I was commenting on this to my dad, and his response was, "Wow, just like Peru." I realized this is a reality that women have to deal with all over the world each and every day. What happened that this is what is normal or accepted? Why is this something women just have to get used to?
So, I'm going to start something new. When I hear these calls, I'll just keep walking, but say a little prayer. For the men who think it's okay to make me feel this way and for the women who feel this way infinitely more times than me. I know that once this year is up and I move back to California, I'll be able to escape this, but not everyone is so lucky.
This is all part of my experience, so I'm trying to take it in stride and learn from it all.
It's like that in Russia, too. I had to ignore lots of stuff. And I was definitely NOT wearing heals, nor did I feel all dressed up and cute. But way to be an example and turn that frustration into charity by praying :)
ReplyDelete